What?!...Three Weeks Left?

Well, how did that happen so fast? It is so hard to believe that there are only three weeks left till my due date. With a slight change in the weather, new sports activities with the kids, and preparing for back to school, it feels like this pregnancy should still have more time left before Little Miss makes her debut.

Little Miss really has been great. She is measuring on track and sure does like to move. Not many kicks or jabs though. She still loves to roll and stretch and that is what really takes my breath away. While she is finally head down she still loves to nestle in my left hip and straighten legs and but across my belly and it takes me by surprise.

Signs that my body is preparing for labor? Well, there's those pesky Braxton Hicks contractions. I've had them for quite a few weeks now but they have certainly been intensifying lately. Also, a few days ago I woke up and I swear the top of my belly could be sucked in...and that hasn't happened in quite a few months. Not to mention the accompanied pressure in my low, low back. I'm thinking Little Miss has started to "drop". Then there's the pregnancy insomnia. It's so bizarre how routine it is. Every night at 11:35pm, 3:00am, and then up at 6am for the day...assuming I fell back to sleep at 3. And lastly the numb fingers. The doctor says due to hand swelling it's putting pressure on my wrists causing carpel tunnel issues. It should go away once delivery happens though so it's only a temporary discomfort.

It's all so exciting and saddening at the same time. Realizing that this journey is about to end for me is bittersweet. I didn't think I would be so emotional about the end process. I have loved every minute of this experience and will be sad when my journey with this little one comes to an end, however I'm super excited for her to begin a new journey with her family. She is going to be one blessed little girl.
 

8 Weeks Left...But Who's Counting?!

As I sit here this afternoon enjoying a bowl of cut up apples and yogurt, I think how amazing the cooler temperature feels. Especially with the breeze! It's heavenly. I'll take more days like this for sure! Summer is in full swing with all the activities going on. One child is off to camp and the other one will soon follow. Both are finishing up baseball with the Jr Giants. Before I know it school will be in full swing again.

Today I thought I would answer a few questions that seem to be coming up frequently related to pregnancy, health, and surrogacy.

How am I feeling?
Amazing! Sure, there are a few aches and pains but nothing I can't tolerate. I truly have been blessed this pregnancy.

How much weight have you gained?
Yep, been asked a few times. Really it's not that bad. At 32 weeks I'm only up 14 pounds but the doctor's office has been consistently 2 pounds heavier. It's the great scale controversy. I suppose if I have to take the extra two pounds it's still not that bad.

Have you had any major cravings?
Nothing requiring a midnight run to a special store for food. I just know what foods taste best. Lots of fresh food. Honestly it's what makes me feel the best. Watermelon and Chipotle are so delish! No, not together, gross. I do miss my coffee. I'm finally able to have a cup every now and again but it still doesn't taste great. Let me preface this with I am NOT a beer drinker. Can't stand the taste however the hubby drinks it and let me tell you that every time he poured one, the smell of it was soooo appealing! Thankfully the allure has passed.

Does the baby kick a lot?
Yes but she seems to wiggle more. The movement comes in a couple three movements at a time and then she stops. It's almost like she just needs to get comfortable and moves accordingly. I've had very few nights of her keeping me up.

Do you know what you are having?
Yes, it's a girl but I quickly follow it up with, but it's not my baby. {Insert-I'm a surrogate}It usually takes a moment to register with people but they are usually very receptive to the concept. I try to let people know immediately that she is not mine because I work with the public and I don't want to mislead them in any way.

Is it your egg?
No, I am just the extreme babysitter. The embryo was created and placed inside my uterus. I have no biological relation to this little person. I believe that is what has allowed me not to get attached to her.

Are the parents excited?
Yes, the family is thrilled that they will have a new addition soon.

Will the mom and dad be there when you deliver?
Of course the family will be there. After all this is their child.

Are they excited?
Um, I'm pretty sure they are! Who wouldn't be excited for a new addition to the family? I'm excited for them too. I can wait for them to meet their little one.

How does your family feel about it?
My husband has been very supportive through it all. He knows this is something I've wanted to do for a very long time. My children are full of questions and love watching my belly grow. I don't think I would do this without their support.

Would you be a surrogate again if given the chance?
This is one I've contemplated a lot recently. As I don't yet know the full outcome of this pregnancy experience I cant make a solid decision. So far this is my answer: Yes and no. I've been very blessed throughout this whole process. Working with this family has been amazing. I don't know that I would be so lucky again. What if it didn't work out as well with another family? I love being pregnant and I have enjoyed every moment of this journey but even it I did decide to go through with this again I don't know that I could get the husband on board. He has been very supportive but there is a certain level of sacrifice to one's normal life routine. Also, he has a really hard time seeing me in any kind of pain or discomfort especially anything that he cant help with. I don't know that I could put him through that again. For now I am embracing every minute of the journey and know that this will forever be a part of my life I will not soon forget.

9 Weeks Left!

As the pregnancy transitions and the end is quickly approaching, I am amazed at how well I feel overall. I've really had very few complaints. Of course my body is growing another human being so there are bound to be aches and pains as muscles stretch and joints loosen. That's just part of the process. If I were to choose one annoying consistent symptom that I've suffered from it would be a stuffy nose. Yes, it really is a REAL side effect of pregnancy. Go figure. I remember being stuffy towards the end with my son's pregnancy but didn't know at the time that it was due to pregnancy. Something about increased levels of estrogen hormones in my body that cause more mucous in the lining of my nose. It should clear up after Little Miss is born. Simple remedy really!

Currently, heat is my Kryptonite! Literally! When I'm inside I'm happy as a clam but the second I get overheated,  the fingers and toes begin to swell and I wilt.  I feel like Violet from Willy Wink. You remember, she's the one who swelled into a blueberry and was rolled away to be squeezed! I've never experienced a summer pregnancy and I have to say that when I get hot, I get cranky. Who knew!? I've heard of this "cranky condition" in many pregnant women but until now never understood it. I have a whole new respect fo those who have gone before me! I'm normally a pretty patient, happy, and easy going person but the mix of heat and pregnancy have made me very intolerant of everything and everyone. Working through pregnancy has been a breeze though because I'm in AC all day! It's wonderful but venturing out even on my drive home is uncomfortable. Hoping this heat wave ends sooner rather than later. Lots of water and lots of watermelon until cooler days!

The Braxton Hicks contractions have begun. That's a sure sign the end phase has begun. So exciting. I forgot how tight they can get. Nothing painful but certainly gets my attention. Another thing that gets my attention is the constant moving this little one does. She seems to nestle into my left hip a lot. The family is getting a "kick" out of watching my belly move. My son was laughing hysterically the other night. He put his ear up to my belly to try to hear the baby and all he heard were the gurgles from the water I had just consumed and promptly got kicked in the side of the head. Ironically my son has been the most enthralled with little miss. He pokes at her to try to get her to move and talks to her. Sweet kid. My daughter has a more sarcastic humor about it all. She swears there is an alien in my belly about to burst out at any moment.

Recently I found a great blog called Birth Without Fear. It is full of inspirational birth stories and positive support. Its wonderful to have this positive aid along the way. Along with all the positive stories found online I've found a common thread of what pregnant women endure hearing form others that are negative. While pregnancy is a time to celebrate new life, women often times become very sensitive. I myself have heard a few comments from others. Especially other women. While I do not consider myself sensitive to many of the comments, I find it ironic that we as women boast about building each other up in regards to strengths,  abilities, and looks but when it comes to pregnancy how quickly the filter fades. I am not one to get easily offended because I am confident in who I am and what I am doing. But I am more aghast at the lack of thought before words are spoken between women. 

Right now though my focus is on getting through these last nine weeks with ease and grace...and lots of watermelon!

30 Weeks!

Let me start by saying that this post is bitter sweet. While I continue to enjoy and celebrate a pregnancy that is going smoothly and know that a family is going to have a new little blessing soon, I write knowing that a dear friend has suffered yet another miscarriage. I don't understand why some little soles have to leave this world sooner than others. My heart is so heavy for my dear friend knowing her struggles to conceive. It greatly saddens me for those who strongly desire to have children of their own yet can not for what ever reason! It's such a reminder to me that I've been greatly blessed with two amazing children and know that they have been placed in my life for a very special reason. I continue to hope and pray for my dear friend that she will some day soon be able to experience the joys of parenthood!

As for this pregnancy, Little Miss Wiggles is just that, wiggling all the time! I've had a few crazy episodes of her spazzing out with a series of kicks and jabs but nothing that has been painful yet. Only once she has woken me up from a nap and once during the night. I think she spins quite happily in there. My belly seems to be a different shape every morning depending on how she moves. I also think she is shy...because every time I try to have the family feel her movements, she settles right down. Go figure.

Lately, I have been devouring blueberries, watermelon, and pineapple. Also loving grilled egg plant with fresh tomato slices and melted provolone. Of course all meat (except fish) has been seasoned with chipoltle...cant get enough of the stuff!! Yum! Thinking I need to up my protein intake as I've been craving lots of carbs but when I have indulged in the carb goodness, it doesn't satisfy. And thank goodness for our little tea shop in town. What a wonderful assortment of organic teas they offer. Grandma's Garden is my favorite and makes a lovely ice tea which in this HOT weather is completely necessary!

The running/jogging days are for sure over! Certainly because it's so hot outside now but also because I tried a few weeks ago and, nope it was a no-go! BUT, I still have aqua aerobics. Exercise during pregnancy has been amazing. I'm a huge advocate for it. The benefits are countless. Hoping that once Little Miss is born I can start running again and possibly attempt my first 5K next 4th of July!

Now that I am at the 10 week countdown point, a whole new thought process has begun. I had my first moment of, "oh, yeah...gotta do the labor thing again!" Yikes! Wondering what the circumstances will be leading up to the wonderful day. I've had several pregnancy dreams where the labor was so fast that the family couldn't make it in time. More of an unpleasant dream really. While I can only hope for a quick labor and delivery I would definitely be sad if the family couldn't be there for the special event. I know that this day that is quickly approaching will be full of emotions! While I can not wait for her to meet her new family, I know it will mean the end of my journey with her. I am just enjoying the little time I have left with her. I hope that my children will be able to meet this sweet little one and say their goodbye's so they have closure too.

24 Weeks!

Yey! The weeks are flying by. Little Miss is growing so much every day. At the last ultrasound she was measuring a little over one whole pound! She has recently had a crazy case of the wiggles and hick-ups! She is super healthy and seems to be really sweet so far!

So excited that I've only gained nine pounds and I'm already half way there! Although I swear my doctor's office scale is way wrong. My scale at home matched the one at the ultrasound office but the doctor's office scale is weighing 5 pounds heavier. Whatever, I know that I'm eating very healthy foods and getting plenty of exercise. I'm loving aqua aerobics classes and walking outdoors in the afternoon sun. Last week and this week some really rocking music was on Pandora and I even jogged for a little bit. Before this pregnancy I started running but have been nervous to over exert myself. I've missed the great feeling of running so I thought I'd give it a try. Lets just say it felt really good to jog and by no means was this a full on sprint. I've read a lot about what pregnant ladies can and cant do when pregnant when it comes to exercise. The majority of the information says don't start something new. Exercise helps with sleep too!

I haven't had many obsessive food cravings. I'm loving all things with chipotle seasoning. And sometimes I really think I could lick a salt lick! (but I promise I wont) Before I was pregnant I swear I could be a fruit-tarian and that certainly has not changed now. As the temperature increases outside, I'm finding many ways to keep cool with fruit. One of my favorites is coconut milk with frozen pineapple in a blender. It's creamy and cold and sweet. Of course my go to snack is ice cold watermelon. Big tip: Don't eat watermelon right before bed. For those of you who are pregnant, this affects you!

This journey has been amazing so far. I was reflecting recently on each pregnancy I've been through. I had my first baby in my late teens, my second baby in my mid twenties, and now a third pregnancy in my early thirties. Each one has been so different mentally. One thing has remained the same, I love being pregnant! I cant wait for this little girl to be born so she can meet her new family. It's like Christmas Eve when the parents have wrapped all the gifts and they are under the tree and you cant wait for the kids to open their gifts to see their happy faces.

Here's to the next half of the pregnancy going well!!!

19 Weeks And It's A...

Where have these weeks gone? Clearly my calling is not as a blogger!

Here's what's new. Whatever mild to nill nausea I may have experienced has gone. Poof, like magic! I'm still a little tired but my body is growing a baby so I don't mind getting a few extra zzz's. I've made the switch to maternity wear for the most part due to comfort. And so far I've only gained 8 pounds to date. Not bad if I do say so myself. I can still fit in my pants with a belly band belt but the belt sits right over where the baby is and not comfortable. Yes, there is a pooch now. The little belly fat I did have prior to pregnancy has been pushed up so now it feels like I look farther along than I really am. I'm sure it is just everything rearranging in there. I have been feeling baby flopping in there since 13 weeks. The flopps and rolls have now turned into more of a defined movement of little arms and legs but no karate chops or elbow jabs yet. The hubbs got to feel it twice. And while I'm on the subject of the hubbs, he is too cute. He was really involved in our own two kids pregnancies. He would sing to them, talk to them, and always had his hand on my belly. I loved it. This time around I wasn't sure what part he would play as its not OUR child. He's definitely my support partner in all this! I assumed he would be removed and unattached. Wrong. I think he loves the whole process as much as I do. What a surprise!  We both are so amazed at how God grows babies. They are their own little miracle.  Yes,  his hand is always on my belly now and I think he may have a harder time saying goodbye than I will in a few more months.  It's just such a blessing to have a partner who is by my side through this surrogacy process. 

This pregnancy has been a piece of cake so far and not by my own strength.  I am very much feeling the prayers of those around me.  It really is through God's grace that I am able to go on this journey. 

So last week was the big ultrasound! It was so much more advanced than with my own two kids.  Every inch of the baby was measured. Even down to the three didgets on the pinky finger.  Love technology!  Parts of it were 3-D and others were infrared and you could see blood flow through the heart.  Wow! So cool!

The most awesome part is that the baby is a girl!!!... And she's healthy. 

The family is thrilled and we are so happy for them too! 

Twelve Weeks!

Where have the weeks gone? They have been filled with lots of ups and downs for me. All is well with the pregnancy and baby, fortunately, but it was kinda scary there for a minute. Let me first say that it is confirmed that there is only one baby. One very healthy baby. So cute watching this tiny little being wiggle around on the ultrasound with arms and legs. Such an incredible reminder of the miracle taking place inside the womb.

The past few weeks have been consumed with getting insurance activated, switching care providers, and doctor visits. And continuing weekly blood draws to monitor hormone levels. If I were to give one piece of advice to someone considering surrogacy, it would be...be prepared to be poked. A LOT! Not only are there weekly blood draws but then there's all the injections that occur. My last injection was February 16th! Hooray! The last few weeks of injections I developed large walnut size bumps at the injection site and they were very painful. So thankful to be done with those.

 Let me just say that there are several things I didn't expect to experience as a surrogate but mostly I didn't realize how responsible and protective over this little baby I would feel. While there is great responsibility to care for another person's child, I simply didn't realize how strongly I would feel this while carrying the baby.

So a few weeks ago I started spotting. Very scary. Don't really know why. Maybe because I stopped my progesterone shots. Maybe because the second embryo that didn't survive was trying to exit my body. But what ever the case, it was really scary. I left town for a few days to visit family with the kids but the Hubs couldn't make the trip with me. No problem there because I thought the trip would be a smooth one. I know I'm pretty attached to the Hubs and depend on him for a lot but when I started spotting, I really longed for him to be by my side. I started to panic and let fear set in. I immediately texted a few close friends to ask for prayers. I feel so fortunate that I could contact these ladies as they truly are special and amazing women. One thing that they all reminded me of is that even when we feel all alone, we are not. God is always with us and is our comfort in the face of fear. Duh, I should have remember that. But sometimes we need our friends to remind us of the obvious. Two verses they reminded me of were Isaiah 41:10 and Deuteronomy 31:6.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6



I'm praising God for the positive outcome. Regardless of the cause of the bleeding there is a miracle growing inside me and everyone is healthy. I'm continuing to put my trust in God and have peace that He is in control no matter the situation.