Well the quick update is that the transfer didn't work! So much went into this process. What happened you ask? I don't know...all the shots, all the meds, all the resting didn't result in the outcome expected. My first blood test to search for the pregnancy hormone was at a 6 followed up two days later by 17 and then another two days later by 26. Apparently these are really low numbers and should double every 48 hours. Mine did not. One last test was done four days later and that one came back at a 5! Discouraging to say the least. So many emotions run through me at the moment. I'm a results kind of person and feel like I failed. I know this is out of my control but then I step back and remember that while I'm feeling disappointed there is a family that just experienced a loss which far outweighs my disappointment. It's the whole reason I wanted to be a surrogate in the first place, to help those wanting children, and here I am not able to do that for this family. Sigh. I look back over the entire process and analyze every moment to see if I can pin point any one thing that could have caused this to happen and when there's nothing I think, could there be something wrong with me? I have to remind myself that the doctor looked over everything and would not have proceded with the transfer had there been something wrong. It has to be one of those things that's all in God's timing and He knows the big picture. I take up hope that the next attempt will be successful and that the little child to be must have a very special purpose in this life. I pray peace over the heart of the family and that they find comfort in the arms of God. As for the next attempt, I'm not sure how soon I can start the process again. Obviously my body has to cycle but then how soon the shots start up again are yet to be determined. It's all part of the journey and the lessons we learn along the way. The weather outside here is changing which means a new season...with the new season comes new blessings. It's a beautiful season and one of my favorites!
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